My Plans

This post is titled simply enough and it's capitalized for a reason. If I could find a way to have trumpets blast while you read the title, I would. Never before have I realized just how much I cherish my plans. I coddle them, protect them, nurture them--in a weird way.

This realization started with my desire to home school my children, Faith being the first since she's the oldest. It's dawned on me over the past several weeks that at this point, it's impossible.

So, I started investigating preschools, which just broke my heart. I talked to God about it. He told me to let go...of my plans, of "my way". I don't know His entire plan for our educational future, but for now, it's a "no" to home school.

Faith's pediatrician expressed something today that struck me. She said that Faith will be seen by their practice until "she graduates from college, joins the military, gets married and has her own babies or ends up in 'juvey' -- let's hope it's the 'graduates from college option'".

While I don't want Faith to end up in "juvey", any of the other options she stated would absolutely be fine with me. There are many others as well -- travel abroad, do missions, start a career.

I felt put off by this woman so casually judging what my child's path should be. I'm wondering now if God feels this way about me casually judging what Faith's path should be...and what my path should be.

He has His own plans for us. It's one big plan, but it's also step-by-step instructions. He cares about all the little things. He's into the details.

A few weeks ago, I was singing along with a song about taking every step with God. God, in His way, said to me, "You don't take every step with me." Ohhhh...well, He's right!

Lord, help me to be patient enough to ask You what Your plan is for me before setting out on the path I have chosen.

Matthew 10:30
And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 16:9
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

Isaiah 55:9
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Heritage and Inheritance

Today is Faith's 4th birthday. I have been thinking about what an amazing gift she is to me. She is many things, but these come to mind first: she is kind, observant, curious and loves Jesus.

We were in Target a couple of nights ago where they have a kiosk that plays random music from the CD's for sale. "Jesus Loves Me" was one of the songs playing. Faith heard it and came running down the aisle toward me yelling, "Jesus, Jesus!"

My devotional today included Judges 2 in which a whole generation grows up not learning about God and what He had done for their parents. It ended badly, that much you can probably guess. I was remembering my upbringing and thinking about the generations before me. Only my paternal grandmother was a true believer. I have a couple of distinct memories of her sharing Jesus with me, but it wasn't enough to make a lasting impact.

I am purposefully raising my children to know God's love and grace and to see the freedom that Jesus has given me. I believe there's no greater gift I could give them. They are being pointed toward a firm foundation to stand on when life is complicated and messy and when it's sweet and lovely. They are receiving a heritage from me, however short it is, that I hope and pray they will continue. And, if they choose to accept it, they will receive an inheritance of riches from the Lord. Only He knows what that includes, but I love to think about what it is!

My greatest desire is that I will one day stand before God with all three of my children. I can think of nothing that could possibly mean more to me.

Ephesians 1:17-19

17For I always pray to the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that He may grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation of insight into mysteries and secrets in the deep and intimate knowledge of Him,

18 By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints (His set-apart ones),

19 And so that you can know and understand what is the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power in and for us who believe, as demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength,

He delights in me

I adore my children. I delight in them. I could spend my days and nights watching them play, laugh, interact and just be.

My baby child, Trinity, is in the wide-eyed, smiley stage. She's just learning about this world and everyone in it. When we are face to face, the time is so sweet. I tell her I love her over and over, and although I sincerely doubt she knows what I'm saying to her, she understands. She responds with cooing and smiling, trying out new expressions on her face. Occasionally, I'll laugh a little too loud at one of those expressions and it startles her.

The photo to the right is of Trinity, startled about something I had done. Ever have this look on your face?:)

This calls to mind the relationship between God and me, His baby child. He tells me in His way that He loves me, and while I don't understand His language, I get what He's saying. Sometimes, He'll do something that startles me, something I don't understand. I've forgotten that He has good intentions toward me, good plans and only love. Just like Trinity doesn't know yet that I only have good things in mind for her, I have trouble remembering this about God.

During my prayer time, I was thinking about how wonderful it is to look my baby in the face and just enjoy her. God impressed upon me that that is how He feels about ME. He delights in me, He adores me, He thinks I'm wonderful.

This is a thought that, if I could come to believe it, would transform my life. May it transform yours as well.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Psalm 149:4 For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

First Load In

Most people are likely to have a favorite place; a place to have quiet time, a place to decompress, a place to be themselves. It is unlikely for most people that this place would be their laundry room.

For me, however, the laundry room is where I long to be. Being a mom of three small children, as you can imagine, I'm there quite often. But, I've learned to take advantage of that time in the late evening.

The kids are in bed, sleeping soundly. Hubby is doing his thing. I am downstairs, knee-deep in clothing stained with strawberry-applesauce and finger paint. I'm also knee-deep in my Heavenly Father's Word.

Since becoming a mom, my relationship with God has taken on a whole new atmosphere. It's like the light got a little brighter and I understood things better -- His love for me, His longing for me to spend time at His feet. He has met me where I am and spoken to me as I parent my children. I have been so humbled by and thankful for that.

For the past several months, I have sat in my basement, coffee cup in hand, communing with the Living God. Since our basement is unfinished, I can look around and see the inner workings of our home; the pipes, the wires, the beams and everything else I never even thought about.

The irony and beauty of my meeting place with God has not gone unnoticed. As I sit amidst the inner workings of my home, God is revealing things to me about the inner workings of my heart. The basement is laid bare, unfinished, as am I. This becomes more and more clear to me each time I meet with Him there.